To be seen for who you really are is one of the most courageous things any of us can do.
Not only is it the most courageous thing to do, it’s critical if we are to connect and grow.
How would your life be different, if during those crucial conversations you let yourself be seen? Leaning into that space of uncertainty, possible judgement, and discomfort. Speaking your truth. Letting your light shine. Being 100% you. Where would you be?
How would your life be different?
So often we emerge from a dialogue with loads of things we wish we could have said during that crucial conversation. But then we find ourselves sharing what we know to be true with those in our inner circles who may agree with us, but in the end aren’t the ones that really needed to hear that truth.
What if we had the courage to speak our truth and put it all on the line?
The funny things is…when you know who you are, and are true to yourself, you really don’t have anything to lose. The armor you now wear as a badge of honor for having done the soul shaking work to find your truth gives you real courage.
So what if you took the time to say what was really hard to say but you knew needed to heard?
What if you stepped into your leadership and told the truth.
If this would set you free…would you do it?
When what you want to say hurts… it’s simply because it’s grounded in truth.
That truth can be about someone who hurt you deeply or about something excruciatingly painful that you just realized about yourself.
My coach would often press me by asking me, “what’s the worst thing that can happen?” When it’s all said and done the worst thing is always the same thing no matter the situation: that you learn a really good lesson.
I’m living proof that yes, when it hurts to the point where you dare not say what wants to be said…you’ve stumbled upon some truth. And I can also attest that.just because you learn a lesson, doesn’t mean the truth doesn’t hurt.
She’s there. Standing in between you and the magic you’re about to create and share with the world. While you can’t see her…you can feel her presence. The elephant in the room. The room of your mind. Some affectionately refer to her as the resistance. That thing that stops you from fully expressing yourself, your views, or simply diving in and doing the work. You just want her to go away so you can get to work.
But the truth is…she’s not going to go away – she just wants something from you.
She simply needs you to acknowledge her. That’s it. Once you do this, while she will still be there, at least you can move forward in faith, trusting that what you do will be right – even if you’re proven wrong. Being proven right or wrong is not the point. The point is…when elephants are handled with care, they are symbols of good fortune. Therefore, when things become awkward, hard to explain or feel into, that means you’re on the right track. Acknowledge her a keep steeping forward.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of creating value. The more I think, the more I realize that the value actually comes from the connection.
So when we create whatever it is that we create – make an attempt to connect. I mean really connect.
Go to that place of authenticity, truth and vulnerability and the rest will take care of itself.
We often become perplexed and sometimes annoyed by leaders who answer questions with a question. This Socratic method of teaching is quite genius because traditional education teaches us otherwise. We’re taught that there is often a definitive answer out there and/or path to take in order to acquire something. We were never really challenged to search within ourselves to illuminate our own truths, to search for our own answers.
This morning…I cried during my meditation.
The first time that happened was during the summer time, and when it happened, I immediately checked in with my life-coach for an answer on what that could be about. He simply said, “trust your gut…sounds like you’ve stumbled across some truth!”
“Truth!”…with an exclamation point…as if this was something to be excited about. I’m cryin’ over here and you’re excited? I later realized, he was excited because tears meant truth and truth meant a breakthrough was just around the corner.
The great part about these kinds of lessons is that once you’ve been through it before, recognizing what’s happening when it happens again, makes the process a lot easier. At this point, you know where to check in with yourself. You can look back at your values and assess where you were out of integrity, or you can repeatedly ask yourself why to what’s causing that uneasiness or internal conflict. Repeated questioning gets us closer and closer to the root cause…our truth.
We must start with why.
It’s easier to reveal your own answer when you know where to start.
But what remains difficult, is that once we’ve identified that truth, we must make a decision.
To act or not to act. Because either way our action or inaction will say something and even with that…there are no guarantees.
You Only Live Once (today’s sermon title)
For some reason, this weekend was filled with those soul stirring yet cliche questions like:
These questions are posed to get you to think about the areas in your life where you’re not exactly living your truth. These questions make you feel like crap because deep down…you know that you need to make some changes. And the reality is…you’re scared. You’re afraid of looking foolish when you finally admit to others…what it is you really want to do with your life. You’re also scared because you know these changes will not be easy and therefore the sheer thought of the work involved paralyzes you. It’s like you don’t even know where to start.
But I know from experience, that in that moment…when you are stirred, you need to make a decision. And that decision should be to take action.
Yolo
While my actions would say quite the opposite, I find myself struggling with being patient. It’s like I can’t wait for “it” to happen, yet I can’t even clearly articulate what “it” is. Don’t get me wrong, I have visions of what I want. I know what I want my life to look like, and what changes (internally) must be made so I can live as my most authentic self. But have I really sketched out the long-term vision of my life? Not fully. There are things that I know that I want to have in my life, like four seasons, children, love and laughter, but can I describe my life 30 years from now? Not yet.
I’ve started this process many times. Got the great idea in a leadership or personal development book to really get clear on what I wanted my future to look like, and immediately took action describing it. Whether it was a vision board or filling in answers to questions in a hardcover book…I took action. However, I took action, describing my short-term future of the next 1-5 years. I took action, having only a fuzzy image of what I wanted my long-term future to look like. Even worse, I took action having not studied myself long and hard enough to articulate my values. How could I create a future without knowing what I stood for and what values I embodied at my core so that I could live my truth?
I think the reason many people (experts included) skip the step of discovering our values is because it requires a shit ton of hard work. Plus we have to ask ourselves some really scary questions. So now I find myself (after having answered the tough questions and crystallizing my values) moving slowly and cautiously though life, clinging to people and ideas that in my gut I know can only move me closer to the work that I have been called to do.
When did I get so structured? So regimented? Is this one of my strengths: taking action and committing? Yes.
But the more important question is: what is my long-term vision for my life?
Not only do I want to be inspired. I want to be an inspiration to others. Perhaps that’s where my little patience problem kicks in. Still unclear on this, but open to exploring.
One thing’s for sure…I’m relieved to know that inspiration and patience don’t have to be opposing forces. As I recently learned, when you inhale (inspire) you have to exhale (patience). So long as we take the baby steps and use our heart as our compass we’ll be well on our way… even if our patience could use a little work.
The phone rang…it was my boss. I could tell by her tone that something was really bothering her, so I immediately asked her, “what’s wrong?” Hoping she wasn’t about to oust me for not having one of my clients download and print their marketing materials. Luckily, that wasn’t what she wanted to talk to me about. She explained to me how there were a series of things that were getting on her nerves, one of which had to do with me. I listened intently as she went on…”Nathan (our regional manager who we shall call Nathan) e-mailed me last night, and the subject line of his e-mail read “Theresa Campbell.” My heart jumped into my throat for a moment as I said, “…and?” trying not to sound not too concerned.
She proceed to tell me how a position was available back in Detroit, Michigan and he was wondering if they should, serve me up as a candidate to interview for this promotion. Besides the fact that I’m not even technically up next on the “next up list,” she proceeded to tell him that based on all of my conversations, with her and other upper level managers, the opportunity he was thinking about having me interview for would not be a good fit based on my interests at this point in time.
The best part about this entire conversation with my boss, is that I didn’t really do much talking. She did. She explained with conviction how she told Nathan that this would not be a good idea, and although he continued to come back to her with “what if,” statements concerning my future with the company she was able to, with confidence, fight for me.
For the longest time I have been sharing with our leaders that work-life-integration is only one piece of the, “what does it take to retain a millennial?,” puzzle. The reality is…many of us want to do work that is meaningful, that makes us come alive, and allows us to live out our purpose with endless resolve and heart. The opportunities are available in my Fortune 10 company; however, it will take a new breed of leaders to recognize that the days of having employees work jobs that they don’t necessarily have an interest in just to be promoted, will be few and far between. The companies that will win in the future, will be those that position their employees in areas of the organization where they can leverage their strengths for the greater good of the organization and themselves. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean that’s what you’re supposed to be doing.”
This phone call from my boss was a defining moment in my corporate career. It was a moment of truth. My truth being told by someone else. It was a moment where I was so proud of myself, for having taken the time to really determine what it is that I wanted for not just my career, but for my life. Not only this…I was proud of the fact that I was able to clearly articulate what I wanted, to the point where someone else got me. My boss…she knew my truth.
I will remember this conversation with my boss for the rest of my life. I’ll remember, what it felt like to have someone fight for me, and let me tell you…it felt damn good.
Yesterday something amazing happened. I was talking to my dear friend and fellow GenYus co-founder Brandi, and she posed a question that was a catalyst for not just bigger thinking, but bigger dreaming. She was speaking with a mentor of sorts who simply asked her the question, “…and what would you do with GenYus if you have $500,000.00?”
Brandi and I have visions for where we see the GenYus revolution heading; however, all of our thoughts about how to get there have been through a slow, methodical, calculated and organic growth model. You know…winning one subscriber at a time and staying true to our message. But this question, “what would you do with $500,000.00?” forced us to not only dream, but dream in color. To take it a step further, he also dismantled our assumption that the $500,000.00 would be in the form of a loan from an angel investor. He clarified that the money would come in the form of a donated gift from someone who expected not a single financial return on their investment. The only return expected would be for us to accelerate the advancement of our mission and our message. The idea…give GenYus a financial boost so we can serve as many people as possible – helping them break free.
In reflecting on this, I realized that this question…this exercise… truly stretched my mind and stirred up a new truth that could only be discovered with this type of deep and honest questioning for clarity.
While a gift of $500,000.00 would be effin’ awesome…I think the true gift was the question itself.
What this question allowed us to do was explore parts of our imagination that we didn’t realize we did not need permission to access. Just the right question to unlock this chamber of possibilities.
yotheresacampbell 